|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I can see it in your eyes
You're livin' a troubled life
And you've been hurtin' more and more these days
You don't have to hide it
Don't even have to fight it
Baby all you have to do is just turn and walk away
When you're tired of it all
And tears need to fall
You back's to the wall
Come cryin' to me
You don't have to be strong
You don't have to hold on
You've been there too long
Come cryin' to me
I'll leave the living room light
Burning all night
No don't even pack
Don't even look back
Baby come cryin' to me
You can get beyond this
All those empty promises
They don't have to hold you down no more
Nothin' to explain to me
You don't even need a key
All you gotta do is knock and I'll unlock the door
When you're tired of it all
And tears need to fall
You back's to the wall
Come cryin' to me
You don't have to be strong
You don't have to hold on
You've been there too long
Come cryin' to me
I'll leave the living room light
Burning all night
No don't even pack
Don't even look back
Baby come cryin' to me
I'll leave the living room light
Burning all night
No don't even pack
Don't even look back
Baby come cryin' to me
Baby come cryin' to me
Baby come cryin' to me
| | |
| [Disclaimer: I'm posting this on here instead of my regular blog
because I have no idea how many actual coherent thoughts will come out
of it.]
Why do I always try to figure everything out right away?
Something will happen in my life, and I always have a tendency to try
to figure out how it will end up. I always seem to want to know
the end result. I think it has something to with the fact that if
I know the end result, I'll make the right decisions along the
way. The end result depends on those decisions, so if I know what
it's supposed to be, then I'd do a better job of making the
decisions? I don't know.
One example is my job. I'm still an intern right now. And I
don't know if I will become a full-time employee or not, whether in my
department or in another part of the company. I thought that me
becoming a full-time employee in my department was going to be the end
result. So that's why I'm still there, as an intern, when I
could've just left when my initial internship period was up and
probably found a better-paying job elsewhere. But, because I
thought the end result was supposed to be me getting a job in my
department, I stayed on as an intern. Now I'm not so sure what
will or is supposed to happen. I don't know why I always seem to
think that there's a "supposed to" to all of my big situations.
Am I "supposed to" be at this job? Is there some predestined
determination that this is where I should be? For some reason, my
thought patterns always seem to follow that scenario, but really, I
honestly don't know if that's accurate or not. Maybe it comes
from a lifetime of being in church where you're given the idea that God
wants you to "follow His plan for your life". I don't know.
But that's another blog.
Why can't I seem to just be happy not knowing the end result, and thus,
not knowing what decisions I "should" make? Why can't I just take
things day-by-day, and try to make good choices along the way, as they
come, not always wondering about the end result and whether or not my
choices coincide with that?
I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the back of my head, there's a "pat
Christian answer" for all of this. There is for everything, you
know. I guess this time I'm just not trying too hard to find it...
heh.
| | |
| Oh, the joy of being in one of those times in your life where
everything is going right. I love these times! Maurice, I'm
with you on what you said tonight about where you're at right
now. I'm just happy, really. Things are going good.
It's so funny and ironic to me that right now would be one of those
times, because I know that over the last few years, I've anticipated
this time, and I've thought "I have no idea what I'll be doing
then". And while that didn't really scare me or anything, and I
trusted that God would take care of it, whatever he wanted me doing, it
was always in the back of my mind. I knew that right now, I'm in
school. Beyond that, I had no clue. And now, school is
winding down. And instead of not having a clue, I end up being in
one of those wonderful places in my life where I know and am totally
feeling that I'm in the center of God's will. How cool (and so
like God!) is that?
Hearing a couple of people talk tonight about not knowing what they
were going to be doing and where they were going, etc, I totally
sympathized. But I can also say that God's trustworthy in proving
that those times don't last forever, at least in my life. I feel
very confident that I'm in the job he wants me in, and that it will
turn into a real job eventually, one that I'll be at for at least a
little while. And I'm in the spiritual community that he's
provided for me and placed me in. And all of these things have
just kind of dropped in my lap. God has been so cool about that
in my life. I've never had to worry too much about where he wants
me. It's always been pretty clear, and he's always been pretty
faithful about just making things work out in my life. I'm so
extremely blessed. Much more so than I could ever deserve.
| | |
| I know this is like stating the obvious, but sometimes God just
completely and totally amazes me. Here lately has been one of
those times. I'm amazed at how quickly deep friendships can be
formed. There are friendships in my life that have taken years to
become deep and meaningful. And then there are those that have
been so quick to form that it's been like I turn around and something's
all of a sudden there that wasn't there before. "Whoa, where did
this come from?!" It's pretty cool though. Every time I
start thinking about all the people in my life, I'm overwhelmed with
how blessed I am to have so many amazing friends.
It's also amazing how I can wake up one day and see what God's been
doing in my life that I didn't even quite realize. Like to look
around at my life and realize that I'm at a place that I knew I would
be in one day, but didn't know where I'd be going. And now I'm
here, and God has been faithful in providing direction. It's
really wild to me... my life has been changing rapidly. I look
around and realize "hey, I'm in a different place". But then it's
cool to also realize that even if I wasn't even quite aware of it
happening... God's put me in the right place.
(Something along the lines of this last paragraph would've been my
response to Shane's question tonight about what you've seen God doing
this week, had he left it open a bit longer.  )
| | |
| I'm trying to figure out if I'm just extremely blessed (which I think I
am) or if I just look at things differently than other people. It
almost seems like I'm surrounded by people that are not happy with
their life. I mean, don't get me wrong, mine has its problems,
and there are things I'd like to change and things that I'm working on
changing, but overall... I think I'm happy. Am I weird?
Good things:
- great friends
- my own apartment that I like
- a cool dog
- a loving immediate family
- spiritual community
- a decent job w/ fun co-workers and plenty of little perks
- only 4 more classes left to a bachelors degree
- a running car
- an abundance of amazing people in my life
Bad things:
- some extra pounds
- not always enough money to pay my bills
- too much debt
- fear of not being able to find a good job upon graduation
- pretty much no possibilities of any kind of romantic relationship
anytime soon (this one gets on my nerves sometimes, but there are good
things about it as well)
- homework (ugh!)
- friends that make me sad sometimes
- not as much free time as I might like
To me, the good things are worth dealing with the bad...
| | |
|
